X-Men: The Last Stand - Review (At Last!)

Do not let the fact that I want to see this again in the theater convince you that this is a five-star-A-plus-must-see film. I don't know exactly why I want to see it again but part of it is due to the craptacular conditions of my first viewing where I was so close to the screen that I could see that it was torn in one corner, part of it is that I want to take my sister to see it, and part of it is that the movie was, believe it or not, not that bad. In fact, when it came to the big action sequence at the end it was down right terrific.

There is no need to go into heavy details with the story. If you haven't seen the first two X-Men films or haven't read the comic books or seen the TV cartoons then you need not bother. This is an unfortunate fact of this number three entry in the successful X-Men film franchise: It is inaccessible to the non-X-fan. The script does little to reestablish the world or story for non-fans or even some casual afficionados. Instead the movie starts out with flashbacks to Jean Grey meeting Xavier and Magneto as well as the introduction of Angel who, as I'll later explain, could have been completely removed with not a single problem in the film.

The introduction to the film also introduces us to a new stylist in the X-Men film world, Brett Ratner who takes the reins from Bryan Singer who opted to direct Superman instead. Ratner is not Singer. He does not try to be Singer. If he did try to be Singer maybe the movie would have been better. Ratner is not at all a bad director but it is clear that the dark and grim world of the first films has been replaced by something that can only be described as 'The Usual' with Ratner as the Suspect. The film is faster and shorter compared to X2 which was long and almost leisurely paced. Visually their world is more colorful and less sterile which is almost welcome. Worst of all is the fact that the film drops or forgets that mutants are feared and hated. The only protesters in the film are mutants and mutant supporters. When mutants and normal humans interacting all of the animosity is on the mutant side. Humans, apparently, have become hunky dory with the idea that there are people out there who can kill them with a random thought. More than all of the above there is also a loss of poetry in this film. I can't explain it but you'll know when you see it that something that gave the first films a strong artistic push has been left out.

With that artistic push gone it seems that they tried to fill the remaining void with new characters and this doesn't really work. The actors who filled these roles were probably better than they needed to be but I'm not complaining. Most notable for me is Vinnie Jones playing my favorite X-Men character, Juggernaut. He has only a few more lines in the film than Ray Park (whatever happened to him?) did in X-Men 1, but he does them superbly. Yes, he made Juggernaut a Brit and I accept that. British Juggernaut rules. And while its pretty obvious that his best line in the movie was inspired by a notorious web-meme that line got a huge pop from the midnight crowd I saw the film with and I'm sure most of them weren't thinking about the cartoon when he said that. Yup, he's the Juggernaut, bitch.

Being a bad guy, however, Juggernaut gets taken down by none other than Kitty Pride. While the character earns her place by having cameos in both of the previous films she doesn't get taken to the next level. Instead she has one heart to heart scene with Iceman and a decent chase sequence at the end. It should be said that as big a cheer as Juggernaut got when he uttered his once again infamous line, an even bigger cheer came when Kitty Pride took him down.

The biggest new character, however, is Beast as played by Kelsey Grammer. The choice wasn't inspired but was obvious and definitely a good move. The film doesn't know what to do with Beast. It definitely wants him in the story but doesn't do much with him other than let him speak. In a way this works as it establishes him first as an extreme example of a mutant, second as one of the smartest and most powerful mutants in the world (which has nothing to do with his mutant abilities), and third as someone who can kick a lot of ass. Beast doesn't fight until the third act. It is almost jarring to see this philosopher and strategist suddenly roar onto the battlefield and lay the smack down on fifty other mutants. Again, this is something that you wouldn't expect if you haven't seen anything else X-Men. But this doesn't make Beast less appealing and Grammer definitely has fun with the character.

But this also leads me to the character that had no place in the movie at all. Angel, whose mutation is obvious, serves no purpose in the film other than to shock the viewer in the opening scenes--not that this works on fans since we already know what he's doing when we first see him. The only other times he appears is to escape his father who tries to use the mutant "cure" on him only so that he can return in the end of the movie to save his father from falling to his death. These scenes could have been cut completely with no harm to the film. Angel's actor, Ben Foster, is okay but he doesn't do well enough with what he has to make his character stand out. Most everyone else owns their character enough to solidify them on the screen. Even Multiple-Man (Eric Dean) who only has an extended cameo has his character moments that make you think "gee, why didn't they use him more?" Angel has none.

I've gone over and over about the bad parts of the film so lets get to the good. This is definitely an action movie and Ratner hits his stride here. While the pacing is still hyper it isn't blazing fast like Batman Begins which destroyed its action in unreadable and rushed scenes. This film is just fast enough and contains great Wolverine one-on-one fights. One is him against Juggernaut but his better scene is against a version of Marrow, a mutant similar to Wolverine in having weird bones but Marrow creates big bone spears that he throws. Even though the winner is obvious due to the hero being the hero, not to mention his virtual invincibility, it was still an exciting fight. The end fights are also good with lots of things going on and zippy one liners although there were a few that garnered cringes instead of grins.

Also, Halle Berry has stuck it out for a long time to get some real screen time as Storm and it has paid off. She's in charge and powerful, getting to use all of her powers at full force. While I'm still sad that she went from African Goddess to African-American with superpowers she still makes a big impression. And she's not wearing a stupid (but hot) leather outfit.

So the movie isn't perfect. But it has its moments. It has its surprises. It has Juggernaut, bitch. So it works. But I do hope that the producers realize that this one didn't come out as well as the last two. Even though Bryan may have kept some elements down, some of what he did was for good reason. The movies will really work once everyone realizes that, for all of the fun of seeing umpteen million crazy superpowers going off at once, the real power of X-Men is about seeing human beings who are very different struggling against those who fear and hate them as well as those who among them who fear and hate back. And a little artsy-fartsiness won't be such a buzzkill either.